If you google Raising Bilingual Children you will find pages of articles giving you the benefits that come with children speaking multiple languages. What many of them fail to mention are the challenges and difficulties that come along with it.

Having worked with many foreign children teaching them English as a second language, and now raising my own two children bilingually, I have seen and experienced many of the challenges that parents face, and can understand the reasons why some families choose to give up.

Here are the top 5:

1. Speech Delays

Any speech therapist will tell you that a child being raised bilingually may have some sort of speech delay. It may not be the case for all children, but it is with many, and it is completely normal.

It can be quite frustrating when comparing your child with monolingual children who are already talking. Many parents think they are doing something wrong and that their children are disadvantaged, but it is not the case.

Bilingual children are being exposed to double the amount of vocabulary so sometimes it just takes a little longer to soak in. I know of some bilingual children who at 3 years old were almost non-verbal, speaking neither language, but a year later they were able to speak both languages quite fluently.

In most cases, bilingual children with speech delays catch up with their peers before they start school.

Tips:

  • Spend as much time as possible with your child individually playing and talking, even if they do not respond, continue talking about anything and everything.
  • Ask questions, and if they don’t answer, give suggestions, hinting and encouraging them to respond.
  • Sing songs and tell them nursery rhymes as often as possible. Repetition is important, leave a pause at the end of a sentence before saying the last word to encourage your child to finish it off.
  • Have patience, and be careful not to push too hard.

2. Mixing Languages

It is not uncommon for children to start of a sentence in one language and finish in another. Children tend to use whichever words they know to express themselves, therefore if they lack the vocabulary or grammar in one language, they may just fill in the gaps with another.

When my son was first learning to speak he mixed his words all the time and family would constantly be asking me what he was saying.

Sometimes he would speak in English but use the Italian grammar, meaning the sentence structure was backwards. Eg “the cat black” instead of “the black cat”. This happened usually when he was translating for someone, or telling me something that happened when playing in Italian, in which case he would literally translate from Italian to English without really thinking about what he wanted to say.

Tips:

  • Correct your child, repeating the sentence in the right way and encourage them to repeat.
  • Read to your child every day to increase their vocabulary
  • Take notice of the types of mistakes they are making and work on them during play time repeating those sentences to help them learn.

3. Preference of One Language over the other

Bilingual children usually have a favourite language to speak for a variety of reasons. It may be because that is the dominant language and they are exposed to it the most, it may be that it is the easier language for them, or it may be that it is the language their friends speak.

Having a preference for one language over the other can often cause a strain on the relationship with the parent with the minority language, especially when children refuse to speak the language altogether.

Tips:

  • Try to add more exposure to the non-preferred language
  • Join play groups or mothers groups in your area
  • Take a look at the immersion programs available near you.
  • Make the learning fun, buy some new books or games that can be used only in the target language
  • Check out this article on improving the minority language

4. Reading and Writing

While learning to speak is a natural process, reading and writing require a lot more effort. Unless you home school, or send your child to a Bilingual School, they will only be educated in one language.

Some children who are raised bilingually will never become proficient in both languages to the same level, there is usually one language which is stronger, in most cases, the one they are exposed to at school.

Reading and Writing in the minority language becomes the job of you as the parents, and for many families there just isn’t time.

Tips:

  • Have your child read to you every night in the minority language, even if it is just a short book.
  • Spend some time each day doing activities such as writing letters and cards
  • Hire a tutor to reinforce their grammar
  • Check if there is a language school in your area where your child can go for lessons.
  • Sign your child up for online language lessons. There are many online courses which can be done via skype.

5. Being Passive Bilingual

When a person is able to understand a second language completely but does not speak it, it is referred to as being passive bilingual. There can be a number of reasons for a child not speaking back in one language including: lack of vocabulary, not enough exposure to the language, and the main reason, not “needing” to speak the language.

This can be common in families where a parent can understand the second language. It is not always easy to be consistent, it’s tiring, and difficult to keep on top of all of the time. Sometimes it is just easier to let them respond in the opposite language because that is how they express themselves better, or sometimes you don’t even notice.

K2 who is starting to really talk now understands and speaks more Italian. Sometimes I don’t realise that we are having a conversation in two languages, where he speaks to me in Italian and I back speak to him in English without correcting him. I have to keep reminding myself when I speak to him to correct him, and encourage him to repeat what he is saying in English even though I can understand Italian.

Tips:

  • Make a “need” for your child to speak.
  • Ask them to repeat what they have said in the target language and being consistent with it.
  • When my children reply to me in Italian, I say something like “In English, mummy speaks English, you have to tell me in English”
  • “Throw them in the deep end” Enrol them in a language immersion program or introduce someone else who does not speak the first language, and therefore your child will be forced to speak to communicate what they want.

When deciding to raise your children to become bilingual, it is helpful to know in advance the challenges that you will face so that you can be prepared to overcome them. It is not an easy road, but it is one that your children will thank you for.